14 Seasons Later, Hadji Still Plays Like a Kid at Heart
There is a certain weight in Hadji’s voice when he recalls M4. He has played in 14 seasons of MPL, faced victories and defeats, earned trophies and scars. But when asked what season demanded most from his heart, Hadji takes a long pause before answering.
“Noong natalo kami sa M4. Doon talaga ako pinaka nanghihinayang, noong M4 run namin kasi akala ko back-to-back na kami noon tapos hindi ko ineexpect na ma 4-0 kami ng ECHO.” He admits the truth that has never left him.
It is the kind of loss that alters an athlete. Not because of the scoreboard, but because of what it takes away. He had climbed the mountain, only to fall just as the summit was within reach.
“Nawalan ako ng gana noon,” Hadji says. “Nawala na sa mindset ko noon na gusto kong bumawi.”
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He speaks of it quietly, as if still carrying the sting. It was not just defeat; it was disillusionment. For the first time in his career, he chose to stop.
“Siguro after the following season. Nagpahinga kasi ako noon. Iyon kasi ang reason kaya nagpahinga ako, natalo kami sa M4.”
He clarifies that it wasn’t depression, but exhaustion.
Burnout is the unseen battle of esports. Fans witness the bright stage lights, the confetti, the wins and losses. They do not see the endless cycle, the repetition that wears the soul down.
“Nakaka burnout talaga yung pinagdadaanan namin kasi paulit-ulit lang yung cycle namin. Tapos more on isip yung pinaglalabanan namin,” Hadji explains.
“Parang wala ka nang ibang gagawin kundi MLBB lang talaga at iyon lang talaga dapat ang tumatakbo sa isip mo para hindi ka ma-distract.”
And so, in Season 11, he rested. He still played the game, but on his own terms. He found the hours to be with his family, to enjoy the ordinary things professional players often sacrifice.
“Inenjoy ko rin yung oras ko sa mga bagay na hindi ko nagagawa. Nakipag-bonding ako sa pamilya.”
When Hadji began, esports was simpler. There were no interviews, no production lights framing his face, no endless streams of analysis.
Now, he says, “May mga ganito nang interview eh! Dati kasi walang ganito dati, ngayon mas seryoso na talaga.”
He likens it to the NBA—professionalized, elevated, no longer just a game. “Oo, parang sports na rin siya. Kumbaga parang sa NBA, parang naging ganoon na siya.”
And with that elevation comes responsibility. “Oo, parang kailangan ko nang seryosohin, ganoon.”
But even after everything—the finals defeats, the burnout, the weight of being one of the last veterans from MPL’s first seasons—Hadji holds on to the reason he began.
“Ang goal ko lang dati noong naglalaro ako ay nag-eenjoy lang talaga ako. Hindi ko goal yung manalo siguro, basta ineenjoy ko lang talaga. Ang goal ko ay maibigay ko ang magandang performance.”
He laughs at the thought that KarlTzy once said something similar. Both of them, prodigies who entered the scene as boys, simply wanted to play.
“Ganoon talaga yung mga nagsimula nang bata. Kasi bata pa lang ako, nag-start na mag MLBB. Iyon talaga yung mindset ko, siguro kahit sino namang bata ganoon. Enjoy lang talaga.”
Fifteen seasons later, Hadji has learned many lessons. But the one he carries closest is the one that brought him here in the first place.
“Basta enjoyin mo lang talaga ang ginagawa mo. Iyon ang para sa akin. Enjoy lang kahit anong mangyari.”
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