JamesPangks: “Sa tingin ko, ako na ‘yung may problema”

What happens when you give your best but still aren’t enough? What happens when the thing you have worked on for years remains elusive? What happens when that loss leaves a bitter, lingering taste?

“A Man With A Million Moves,” they call James “JamesPangks” Mendoza. Yet, in the four seasons since his debut, one goal has remained elusive: qualifying for the playoffs. And after years of falling short, the AP.Bren jungler can no longer keep himself from questioning his own worth.

“Sa tingin ko, ako na ‘yung may problema,” JamesPangks told ALL-STAR.

These words cut deep, the confession of a star beginning to doubt its own shine and question the very talent that once set it apart.

A Man With A Million Moves

Only a few players are bold enough to trust solely their mechanical instincts in desperate times against defending champion Team Liquid PH. JamesPangks is one of them.

JamesPangks defied the odds in Game 2 against the Cavalry in Week 7, holding his ground as Nolan against four Team Liquid PH members during a crucial base defense at the 14-minute mark.

Desperate to save their base, he put up a scrappy defense that caught everyone off guard. In the blink of an eye, JamesPangks’ Nolan executed a Fracture play and secured a triple kill in a bid to mount a comeback, but it ultimately wasn’t enough.

Moments like these raise a difficult question worth asking: Is JamesPangks simply on the wrong team? He, however, sees things differently.

Four seasons into his professional career, JamesPangks has watched AP.Bren change around him. Former teammates have moved on, leaving only him and gold laner Jan “Shizou” Valdez from the original lineup. Yet, despite the changes, the results have remained painfully familiar.

With another season ending without a playoff berth, JamesPangks has begun to look inward, wondering whether the problem lies with him.

“Kaya ko naisip ‘yun kasi napalitan naman na ‘yung iba, tapos same results pa rin. Sa tingin ko ako na ‘yung may problema,” JamesPangks told ALL-STAR.

For JamesPangks, another season has brought another heartbreak, with the playoffs once again slipping out of reach.

Speaking with ALL-STAR, JamesPangks admitted that while he believes he deserves a playoff spot, he also recognizes that there might be lessons he has yet to learn before he can finally reach that stage.

“Sobrang nakakalungkot din talaga ‘yun, sobrang nakaka-down. Alam mo yun, sa loob-loob mo alam mong kaya mo and deserve mo dun sa playoff spot na inaasam-aasam mo. Kaso nga lang talagang kulang eh. Hindi ko pa natutunan ‘yung lesson na kailangan ko matutunan kaya, hindi pa ako nakaka-move on sa next chapter,” JamesPangks opened up.

“JamesPangks and Friends” 

JamesPangks’ ability to deliver game-changing performances has made him one of AP.Bren’s most recognizable players. But his individual brilliance has also fueled a perception within the community that the team revolves around him, with some even referring to the squad as “JamesPangks and Friends.”

While the star jungler is honored that people recognized his potential early in his career, he refuses to take all the credit. Instead, he points to his teammates, particularly the mid trio, whose sacrifices help create the space he needs to farm and make plays.

“Sobrang natutuwa talaga ako na nakikita ng tao ‘yun kasi pero hindi ko naman nagawa ‘yun dahil lang sa akin. Kumbaga, may ambag din ‘yung mga kakampi ko.”

“Yung mga nagagawa ko talaga malaking tulong din ‘yung kakampi ko lalo na ‘yung sa trio mid. Kasi parang nagsimula ‘yun noong nagsama si Lancey at si Escalera. Ang hindi alam ng mga tao sila ‘yung nagsa-sacrifice para makapag-farm ako,” JamesPangks explained.

Looking back on AP.Bren’s Season 18 campaign, JamesPangks identified a lack of discipline in-game as one of their biggest problems. He could not help but regret the games they could have won.

In previous seasons, he believed the team had been too afraid to execute its game plans or take risks. This time, however, he felt they had gone too far in the opposite direction.

What lies ahead for JamesPangks remains uncertain, with rumors suggesting that he could leave AP.Bren to explore other opportunities. For now, he plans to focus on livestreaming during the off-season and connect with fans who have supported him ever since.

Four seasons have passed, yet the playoff berth he longs for remains out of reach. Whether a new chapter will finally bring a different ending is a question only time will answer.